Joke of the Day

Man phones home looking for wife
Maid: Sir nasa taas, kasama bf.
Sir: Kunin mo baril at patayin mo sila.
[after 2mins.]
Maid: Sir patay na po.
Sir: Tapon mo cla sa pool.
Maid: Sir wala tayo pool.
Sir: Huh? Ay sorry, wrong number...

The Truth
Jun: I know the truth mom!
Mom: Ha? Eto 500, wag ka maingay sa dad mo ha?
Jun: Dad I know the truth!
Dad: Ha? Eto 1,000, wag ka maingay sa mom mo ha?
Jun: [Hmm epektib to ah! Aha sa driver, masubukan!]
Jun: Manong! Alam ko na ang katotohanan!
Driver: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ko anak!

Inday Joke 
Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang hindi mo kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bobo si itay 'nay, kasi nadinig ko minsan sabi,
“Tama na inday hanggang tatlo lang ang kaya ko”

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Smile, it's the most priceless gift you can give to someone. You don't know what the other person is going through right now and a simple smile can brighten up someone's day.